Greg* describes his time in prison as the worst experience imaginable. “It’s like you’re on a jumping castle but it’s moving under your feet constantly.”
Every moment is marred by fear and uncertainty. Aggressive and unpredictable cell mates, troublemakers and a sense of darkness at every turn. Not to mention the shame and embarrassment that he, and many other prisoners feel at being sentenced for crimes they deeply regret.
Greg’s downward spiral began with an addiction to pornography. He says: “Pornography is more dangerous than most people realise and no one would be watching it if they understood how truly evil and demonic it is.”
The graphic images consumed him until his thoughts became action. He lives with the guilt of the impact his actions will have on his victim for the rest of her life.
Greg knew he deserved to be in prison, and he expected to be reviled for the rest of his life. But what he didn’t expect was the kindness of the prison chaplains who ministered to him.
A prison chaplain gave him a bible and would bring devotionals for any prisoner who wanted them. Greg said: “The chaplains were from all denominations, but they all had one purpose … to preach the gospel to the lost – us.”
It was through reading his bible and his discussions with the chaplains that Greg received a revelation of forgiveness. “There’s only ever been one perfect man. We’ve all fallen short. Especially me,” Greg said.
Prison can become part of your identity and many struggle to leave it behind. Greg said that during his time ‘inside’ he watched many ‘career criminals’ get released and then return a few weeks later, not knowing how to live in the outside world.
Greg’s release from prison at the end of his sentence signaled the end of a chapter but not one he’s ever left behind entirely. It always serves as a reminder of a terrible mistake that will never be repeated.
He continues to move forward, inspired by the words of Philippians 3:13-14: I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.
Greg has been ‘outside’ for a few years now and meets regularly with other ex-prisoners who encountered the love of Jesus in prison, thanks to the kindness of chaplains.
Years later, he still describes the chaplains as a ‘lifeline’ for whom he is eternally grateful.
* Name has been changed and stock image used